I love him so much I couldn’t just write to him. He deserves better than that. I HAVE to tell him myself. Helen I’m hurting inside.’ ‘And the career you want can’t be followed in America?’ ‘I, well honestly I don’t know I’ve only thought about UK based to start with, and then I might have to travel all over the world you see.’ ‘Hmmmm. Well it’s your business and I certainly can’t advise you. But, Megan, in life, single or married, there are dreadful hurts and anguishes over the horizon waiting to ambush you. We women don’t feel things the same way as men do. We feel and experience things totally differently. What we want, sometimes what we need can’t be gained alone. Most of us need someone else at times. Not selfishly, not to use, but to be with, to cherish. We always hope that it will be with someone who feels the same way about us. One day you may feel, your body and your emotions may almost demand that you hold your own child in your arms and say he is MINE. Except of course it’s. ---first aid, riding, and make sure he could swim. “The Boy Scouts dont got shit on us”, I say with a grin.“That's it yo ! Lets eat !” I shout out. A flurry of activity ensues as the b 'o y s attack the BBQ and fixings like a bunch of starved a n I m a l s. Johnny sits with me and Dustin, and comments how awesome the BBQ is. Although still pretty early, I bark out “Who's got watch”? Riley responds he and Billy. “OK—you bois better get a nap”. “Yes sir Matthew”. The two disappear into one of the pup tents on the edge of the camp site. “watch” ? Inquires Johnny. “Yes sir—as you can see, there's about 50 grand worth of gear out here. Definitely have nite watch. So---you spending the night with us”? “Oh fuck ya” ! “Don't need to call anybody, or check in”? “Na—parents out of town all week”. Dustin's face light up like it was Christmas. “OK—you can can bunk up with Dustin. We can find some sweats and tees so you can change out. Finally I announce, “quite time”. Johnny tilts his head to.
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